I actually hate ratings since they’re stupid and arbitrary values, but years ago I came up with a decent enough system that doesn’t make me sick:

BAM!

You may be confused, so here is a simple guide to this revolutionary1 rating system:
BERGE
Berge — He has enough good qualities that he can come off as a good guy, but there are some things about him that just put some people off.

HIPPO
Hippo — Hippos are pretty great.

HIPPOTROUBLE
HIPPOTROUBLE — When you get Berge and a Hippo together you know something crazy and awesome is about to go down.

  1. And by “revolutionary” I mean a three point scale.2
  2. Technically a four point scale if you count no rating at all, for those I’ll probably just be berating the review subject throughout the post.