BOOM

"EXPLOSION"1

These may seem like plain old scissors for kids (before they went all plastic for “safety”), but these are serious tools for PROFESSIONALS! Electricians to be exact, hence the name “electrician’s scissors.” I assume they’re meant for cutting wires and stuff, and they’re certainly awesome for that, but they cut everything else too. With these you can laugh in the face of those pesky blister packs and anything that regular scissors and knives would struggle on!

People will be amazed that you can slice through such difficult materials with these scrawny looking scissors, thinking instead that you are truly a manly man that knows how to handle his bizness. Only you (and I) will know that the secret is in the scissors, they are a modern day stealth ninja tool of cutting destruction.

But which brand should you get?

GET KLEIN TOOLS, WISS’ SCISSORS SUCK!

Well maybe the Wiss ones I got suck and the rest are ok, but generally I’d consider the Klein ones to be superior. They look nearly identical but the difference is in the details. The Wiss ones are too tight and takes much more effort to open and close, the outside edges of the blades feel unfinished and can scape your skin just carrying them around (but may be useful scraping stuff?)…and that’s about it I guess.

They both cut like scissors ON ROIDS, one just doesn’t feel as nice as the other. The shape is pretty much the same other than the outside edge, both have wire stripping notches, similar sharp ass blades, etc. So buy either one really, once you do you’ll feel like a fool for using inferior scissors all these years.

Maybe pass them on to your children so they don’t have to suffer with their crappy safety scissors…although these might be too far on the other end of the spectrum. Some fingers would probably get cut off, but hey, those youngins have some regenerative powers so go hog wild!

  • Yes I know “shodown” isn’t a real word, but in this case it’s a clever proper noun reference!
  • HINT: If you understand the reference, VICTOLY for you!
  1. TERRY CREWS