I don’t write app reviews often, but when I do I try to have some fun with it. Such as this classic review for Tiny Dancer (which was apparently pulled for being TOO SEXY):

This dancer be tiny
This app is an interesting look into the life of not just a dancer, but a tiny dancer. Why is she tiny? Why is she dancing? This app does not answer the questions, only poses them to the user.

Is it morally right to have her trapped in your phone, or are you freeing her from her non multitasking jail every time you open the app? It’s these tough questions that cause the user to go into deep thought. Who knew someone so tiny could make someone to go through such an intense introspection.

Behind every big man is a Tiny Dancer™

Thank you Gerrit!

And now one for Meebo cause it harassed me into writing a review:

I’d trust my life to it1

A free app that doesn’t suck is pretty impressive, it’s good enough to be a nice paid app!

Not that I would pay for an IM client, I don’t use them enough to justify the cost. I could get a cheeseburger instead.

…then again if I was lost and only had my data plan I don’t know. I need the food to survive, but I could call out for help through IM.

In that life or death situation, if I chose IM, I would use Meebo.

And that’s all I got.

Yeah I don’t write too many reviews, usually just one star things that anger my gaming sensibilities, like Flick Fishing2. God that game was boring. It’s great if you’re one of those suckers that love horrible easy gameplay as long as it has collectomania attached to it.

I bet you’d like We Rule too (more like WE GRIND AMIRITE). I hear it’s like Farmville, but it can constantly nag you cause it’s on your phone which you have all the time.

But how can it do that, the iPhone OS doesn’t allow background apps!

It can do it through PUSH NOTIFICATIONS OUT THE ASS3. Also you’re ignorant4.

  1. Well I think this was the title, the review isn’t showing up yet for whatever reason.
  2. From Freeverse, now gobbled up by ngmoco…makers of We Rule! Can they make even grindier games in the future? We can only hope!
  3. Sure you can turn these off, if you want everything in your game to die!
  4. It doesn’t allow third party apps. A bunch of the built in apps run in the background all the time!